Maybe Ghost story's 2

by Tales From The Script
originally published at 06:29PM on Sunday, September 23, 2007

Kay and Judy slammed the door.
I’m coming for you” the haunting voice said
Judy cried hysterically, they could feel the icy cold air wrapping around their feet and moving up their legs.
Kay ran to the window and opened it, it slammed just missing her fingers, “Judy help me ”, Kay, was alone in the room and the door was open.
She ran down stairs to the front door, it slammed shut.
She pulled on the knob, it wouldn’t open.
She stopped and looked up the stairs,
he was coming for her.
So you ‘ve come for me,” she said?
Thunder echoed through the house, Kay’s eyes turned black as night, she raised her hand and pointed at the man.
The man pointed at her; so you think you can take me?
She smiled.
Energy shot through her, she flinched.
She raised her other hand releasing energy from her finger tips, and dropped him to his knees.
She sneered. “Release my friends” she ordered.
Yes, mistress it’s done”.
She opened her hand an cast a fireball, sending him back into the darkness.




  • from Tales From The Script:

    I hate it it’s to jammed together

  • from Gnarforama_X:

    don’t hate, just revise it and spread it out some more, there’s some great mood in there, but you’re right, it is too jammed together.
    It just has a feeling that it was rushed out the door is all, nothing a bit of editing couldn’t whip into shape.

  • from Tales From The Script:

    Is this better?