Ficlets

Mexican Standoff

“Alright,” the man said. “I give up. You can let go of me.”

“Like hell,” James said, “you’re just gonna start the clock and blow my head off. Fuck you. Wait. Let me clarify that. Fuck. You. Asshole. Drop the remote.”

“I don’t think so, James. Let me go and I’ll release your family.”

“Oh, okay, glad we got that settled.” James replied without letting go.

“I didn’t want to do this, but I’m going to have to press the button that kills your family-”

“Cut the crap. Of course you wanted to kill everyone. Jesus. You think I’m stupid? For all I know, you already killed ‘em, you sadistic fuck. No, you’re going to drop the motherfucking remote.”

“I’m not going to do that, James.”

“Then I believe we have a Mexican standoff, don’t we, dickweed? I fucking hate impasses.”

“You’ve bested me, but I’d be happy to negotiate like civilized men, James.”

“Or we could settle it like this,” James said, and sank his teeth into the man’s left ear.

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