At times like these I realize how much an irrational fear has overcome me, and I know I’m wrong but can’t break free. Today I drew a picture that started out as a hamburger, then it became a cow in my stomach, and then a morphed to the size of a cow. Food is poison. You are what you eat. I scrawl at the bottom of the page.
Then I went to my closet to complete my daily routine. I have pictures of two types of girls taped all over my closet walls: fat, ugly girls on the left, thin, super models on the right. Then there’s a piece of paper that says “me.” Depending on how I feel about myself on that particular day, I stick “me” on either the fat, ugly side, or the pretty, skinny side. Today I’m on the left. Typical.