Impeccable Timing: A Story of Young Love and the Temptations of a Free Lunch

by FourSeven
originally published at 04:05AM on Saturday, October 27, 2007

So Johnny and Sally were walking in the park—

“Beautiful day isn’t it, sweetie?”

“Surely it is! Why, the birds chirp and the sun shines and the traffic doth provide a sensational soundtrack.”

—when in that very instant an intercontinental ballistic cruise missile left a smoldering crater where they stood only moments ago.

Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the Pentagon, two young men clicked their stopwatches to record the time of impact.

“Thirty seven point seven four seconds!”

“Excellent. And yours?”

“Sir, thirty seven point seven four seconds!”

“You both recorded the same exact time?”

“Sir yes sir!” said the two men in perfect harmony with one another.

“Excellent,” said the general from the shadows which conveniently darkened only his face. “Impeccable timing, men. Lunch is on me.”

The two young men high-fived one another for a job well executed and a free lunch.




  • from THX 0477:

    Definitely odd.

  • from Mistress Elsha Hawk:

    why test-bomb a park? i picture barbie and ken invaded by a brother’s missile….boys will be boys!

  • from m8ryx:

    love it. You should read Elect Mr. Robinson for a Better World. Funniest, most messed up novel I’ve ever read, and it involves a park bombing not unlike this one.

  • from FourSeven:

    haha, thanks, i will have to check that one out. it sounds like my kind of book.

  • from ♠Ana Cristina♥:

    This was hilarious, especially the last line.