Ficlets

The Truth About the Truth

Global warming may or may not exist. Quitting smoking may or may not reduce your chances of dying anyway. Hybrid cars may or may not be more efficient to drive than gas burners, even if they cost thousands of dollars more. Madonna may or may not be getting hotter as she gets older. You may or may not give a damn about any of these things.

It is given that for every anonymous pundit’s ill-conceived opinion, there will be an equally opposite yet equally ill-conceived opinion. Assuming this dichotomy of truth persists, it can then be postulated that two groups of an equal number (that grow at equal rates) will behold these truths with equal fervor.

These groups, being equally dumbassed and therefore driven towards the bigger and more explosive, will develop equally. Since it is reasonable to assume this development will promote the non-survival of both humankind and the planet it crawls on, let it therefore be proposed that all life will one day return to the gooey pond scum from whence it came.

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