Stella Starr and the Road to Gangster's Paradise: The Wrath of the Undead Don

by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars
originally published at 07:49PM on Sunday, March 25, 2007

Frankie Stein was built like a baby grand. That along with the scars, the corpse-blue pallor of his skin, his cold, dead eyes and his hideous smile made him look like some monster out of Hollywood. Not to mention the bolts. Nelly didn’t even want to think about the bolts…

“What’s your dopey friend staring at?,” Frankie snarled.

Stella elbowed Nelly in the ribs, breaking her trance. Nelly quickly looked down at the table. “Forget her,” Stella said. “The map, Frank, the map.” Stella snapped her fingers.

Frankie’s grin returned. “Say I got this map that leads to something that’ll make me the most powerful gangster in the world. Why would I just give it to you?”

“Two reasons. One: It belongs to me. Two…” Stella said, pulling the tiny Derringer she had strapped to her thigh, as the bodyguards pulled their pistols. “Tell your torpedoes to drop their heaters or else I turn you into the Dead Don.”

“Little girl,” Frankie laughed, standing to his full height. “You just made the last mistake of your life.”

Comments

  • from Phil:

    More, more more! I think ‘Frankenstein’s Mobster’ is the best title in the series, myself.

  • from Nick:

    I need to know why Stella had the map to Gangster’s Paradise in the first place. Why?!?

  • from Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars:

    I’d like to know why she had the map, too. Somebody write a sequel!

  • from Phil:

    Trying to keep the map from Coolio, to prevent a terribly overplayed song?

  • from Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars:

    Thanks for getting my lame Coolio joke in the title. Now I’m wondering if anyone picked up on the equally lame “Wrath of Khan” reference…

  • from Nick:

    Yup, got the the Wrath of Khan reference, but I missed the Coolio one until pointed out. Perhaps this is all a lie and it’s actually a map to the Amish Paradise, eh?

  • from xunil penguin:

    Sweet ficlet, I can’t see the horizon on this story, it could go on past anything you dreamed of.

  • from Kermitgorf:

    dont let the adventures end. Don Drac Ula, is still lurking out there for the map of Gangsta paradise

  • from Alexa ♥:

    I just adore it. It’s so much fun to read.