"What Does It Mean?"

by Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)
originally published at 01:50AM on Saturday, November 17, 2007

I was proud. My first time having a painting on display in a gallery. Not a big gallery, not a famous one, but a gallery, none the less.

I wondered if anyone would want it. If I could sell it for $200, I could pay my phone bill this month. Or, at least, pay up the overdue amount.

“What does it mean?” asked a voice behind me. He was perhaps 70, and staring intently at my painting.

“Well,” I said, “it doesn’t really mean anything. It’s just a painting. I liked how the colours worked off each other.”

“Nonsense,” he snapped. “All art means something. Look how the colours blend.”

“I just liked…”

“The red slashes must mean something.”

“No, they…”

“The blues. Why that particular shade? And the gold. What does it all mean?!”

I snapped. “Fine! Fine! Blue means I’m depressed. Red means I want to kill the next person who asks me what it means. Gold means I had better make a truck load of money off it! That’s what it means!”

“Excellent! I’ll pay $5,000,000!”

All I could think was, What just happened?




  • from Tad Winslow:

    I feel like there’s a famous abstract artist out there, or that lived once, that had the same demeanor and luck that this guy did.

  • from someday_93:

    That’s awesome. He just likes the colors, but when he makes up some meaning, it sells just like that…people misinterpreting art can be quite amusing. I really like this story!

  • from Kermitgorf:

    that guy woulda bought a blank white canvas if the artist said it meant ‘emptyness’, great story. 5 stars.

  • from AeroPen:

    Haha I love this ficlet. Being an artist, my friends always ask me what stuff means and I never know. But this guy… he sure can make stuff up on the spot. Great job!

  • from Eowyn's Word:

    Attention-grabbing, with a surprise twist—isn’t amazing what a smart-ass impulse can do for someone.

  • from Jenunique:

    This was great! I am one of those people, believe it or not, who doesn’t “get” art. I have never understood why people spend thousands (sometimes millions) on paint splatered by elephants, monkeys and very small children. I am just “one of those” people. ;)

  • from wytherwings:

    haha. i love this! im one of “those” people too
    unless it’s photography, then that’s a completely different story