Ficlets

Ten Good Reasons for Murder(2)

Once his screams have died down again, she continues.
“Fourthly, you have a nose. You constantly are sniffing around for your next lay to conquer.” With that, she punches him quickly and deftly square on the bridge of his nose. His head snaps back. “Damn woman! That smarts! Quit toying with me!” She only continues on, determined to say her piece.
“Fifthly, you have hands. Hands that are not content to feel one breast for the rest of their lives, so they grab others.” She smiles, sadistically. “Or maybe you’re an ass man.” With that, she pulls out a machete and quickly cuts off his right hand. She lets it bleed awhile before binding it. It’s not time for him to die yet.
“Sixthly, you have a penis. The most evil of your appendages. It has a mind of its own really, seeking pleasure around every turn, unheeding of the feelings involved.”
“No. Please don’t. I want to have kids someday!” She only proceeds to kick him with her high-heeled shoe until she feels something pop.

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