The Down Staircase

by Pat J
originally published at 01:12AM on Sunday, April 01, 2007 mature

“Not as far down as I thought it would be,” said the man.

“Everyone always says that,” said the dark one. “I never know what to say. I mean, it even says in that Book of His that ‘the way down is the easy way’, or some such. Can’t be bothered to look it up. Point of fact, it always gives me blisters to touch the blamed thing.”

“You’re not really what I expected, either,” said the man.

“Really?” said the dark one. “You were looking for horns and a pointy tail? Split hooves, maybe? A goat’s shaggy phallus?”

“I… I’m not sure, really.”

“All those pictures are wrong. It’s not like I ever sat for a portrait, you know.”

“Of course not.”

“Anyways, enough stalling. Places to go, souls to claim. I’m a busy man. In a manner of speaking.”

“All right. Well, all wrong, but…”

“Go.”

The man hung his head, and started down the stairs. There weren’t enough stairs, he thought. Never enough stairs, on the way to Hell.

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