Why Not To Be in an Airlock

by Ethyachk
originally published at 10:03AM on Wednesday, March 14, 2007

“What? Hey! Open the airlock! Hello??

“Sorry buddy, no can do.”

“Why the hell not?”

“It got me. Now it’s in charge.”

“What’s in charge?”

“Remember I told you something spilled?”

“That’s why I’m here with a mop, genius.”

“What I didn’t say was that I spilled it.”

“Spilled what? There’s nothing here.”

“Oh, there’s something there. Something so horrible I can’t even begin to explain to you what’s going to happen.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Do I sound like I’m kidding?”

“So what’s this horrible thing I’m worrying about here?”

“The brain slug.”

“The WHAT ?”

“Brain slug. It’s probably climbing up your leg right now.”

“I’m looking around here, but there’s no brain slug. There’s no slug at all.”

“It’s moving fast I see.”

“The slug is moving fast.”

“Probably climbing up your spine right now.”

“There’s nothing on my spine, dammit.”

“Must be in your ear then.”

“In my ear! In my ear?”

“Oh, before you join the collective, I’d just like to say one thing.”

“What?”

“April fools.”

“It’s July you bastard.”

Prequels

Sequels

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