The Insurgenceez Haz Beginned

View My first lolcat on Flickr

View My first lolcat on Flickr by Clancy Ratliff

by Kevin Lawver
originally published at 10:58AM on Thursday, January 24, 2008

“I can haz bottlez, mommee?”

“What, sweetie?”

“I can haz bottlez?”

“Who taught you to say that?”

“Kitteh!”

“Dammit… Oscar, I told you not to teach the baby any of your stupid cat talk!”, mother yelled as the baby toddled off, attracted by some other bauble on the floor.

The cat slunk away, giggling to himself, thinking “I haz wordz nau. You no moar put kitteh in bukkit! Kitteh put you in bukkit!”

The humans never knew what hit them. Their children all learned to speak horrible pidgin English, failed miserably at school, and human civilization collapsed. By the time they realized it was the cats, the damage had already been done.

The kittehs inherited the earth. Not because they were meek, but because they were so damn cute.

Prequels

Sequels

Comments

  • from Kevin Lawver:

    I apologize for this one. The idea came to me and I had to write it down…

  • from l.m.orchard:

    “Kitteh put you in bukkit!” LOLzors!

  • from Jason Garber:

    Haha, excellent work on this one. Kittehs will rule the worldz.

  • from natalief:

    KITTEHZ FTWLOLWTFBBQ ! KTHXBAI

  • from natalief:

    BTW , ‘now’ iz speld NAU n ‘you’ iz speld U! LERN 2 SPEL ! ;-p

  • from White Hat:

    Brilliant!

  • from THX 0477:

    Looks like natalief has spent a fair amount of time with her cat. Hilarious extrapolation on the absurdity that is lolz. Loved the bukkit reference.
    LoA

  • from pie_is_good:

    This is the most hilarious thing ever. Seriously. I love lolcats, and this was just awesomely silly. :)

  • from Nouvelle Bardot:

    “Kitteh!� rofl.

  • from Kermitgorf:

    talkin kittenz iz cute. Like that cat Salem on Sabrina the teen witch, you just knew he would take over the world some day.
    LoA

  • from Ben Paddon:

    Thoroughly enjoyable. i can has ficletburger?

  • from [pens&feathers]:

    Absolutely hilarious.

  • from Melia:

    Omg I live for Caturday on Fark. I like where you took the lolcat phenomenon and I have no trouble believing the cute little fluffers will end civilization as we know it :)

  • from â™ Ana Cristina♥:

    lolcats rulz. This was funny as heck.

  • from Lone Writer:

    LOLOLOLOLOL
    THat’s Funny!
    LoA

  • from Bartimaeus:

    LMFAO . god i died the first time i read this.

  • from One Time, One Chance:

    lol kermit!
    ~
    omg this was hilarious, awesome job=]

  • from Saint Chuck:

    Hilarious, but now I’m just a bit afraid. I always knew those things were up to no good.

  • from emma jo_234:

    hahahahahahaha….it’s not often that I laugh out loud at something I’m reading on a screen…

  • from Storykeeper of Fae:

    They do seem somewhat maniacal, no? But so, so stupidly cute. It’s like “aww…you’re so stupid.”
    LoA

  • from I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!:

    is was actually funny

  • from Kevin Lawver:

    Wow, thanks for all the comments, guys!

  • from heartbeats echocho:

    rotfl:hahahahahahahahahahahaha….ahhh…
    good stuff man. dang my side hurts!
    LoA

  • from Brickbrick:

    hahaha i love those lolcats things they are funny. good job

  • from Blusparrow:

    that was halirous! I couldn’t stop laughing! I love cats, but I am allergic to them so no cute little kitten for me…

  • from Tad Winslow:

    Great pic, great fic…uh, let.

  • from NightMaiden:

    that is lovely, absolutely lovely! “kitteh put you in bucket” i laughed so hard

    thanks for sharing!!

  • from OrangeOreos:

    LOLCATZ !

    Bukkit deserved a place in this one!

    Amazing job!

    LoA

  • from Yeah Write!:

    haha! loved it! LOLCATZ rulz!

  • from gemminx:

    Kittehs rule!

  • from Lia:

    If you don’t mind, I have started a prequel this wonderful story.

  • from YodaOnCrack:

    Ha ha! Great as always, Kev!

  • from Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus):

    Dem kittehz iz so sneekee. Dey getz u evry time!
    Gods, I love LOLCats!
    LoA

  • from Laine the Grey:

    Oh, my…

  • from JMBauhaus:

    Hee hee! “I has words nau.” This whole thing cracked me up. Priceless.