Ficlets

Southern Fried Cliche

“Sit down, chil’run. Yo’ gran’pa gon tell y’all a stora,” the old man said to his grandchildren. “Naw, when I wud ‘bout yo’ age,” he began, pointing to the oldest of them, ” I had a fren’ nemmed Bill an’ e’rywhere Bill wen’ he done carried a bron bag wid ‘im. Bill ne’er tol’ nobody what wad in dat bag. He always jus’ sed it wad a secret. E’ry day, me an’ mah fren’s got mo’ and mo’ curious ‘bout dat bag. Naw, we know’d whatevah wad in dere musta been ‘live cuz it’d try ta’ move ‘round an’ it sho’ did make some strenge noises. So one day, we done planned ta’ trick ol’ Bill. We put a lil’ too much tabascah in hid jambalaya an’ befo’ you know it he wad hollerin’ ‘bout hid tongue bein’ on fiyah! Den we done open’d dat bag an’ a big ol’ bobcat came jump out an’ done attack’d po’ ol’ Joe! When Bill see’d dat, he got so mad he did’n know what ta’ do! An’ dat’s how we come’d ta’ say dat ya’ let da bobcat outta da bag,” he said, “Naw, did I evah tell y’all ‘bout da time we done air’d good ol’ Bill’s dirty laundry?”

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