I still shudder when I think about her. She was the “good Christian” at school, my pal. She gave Christians a bad name. Because of her, I find it so hard to believe most Jesus freaks. I laughed at the movie “Saved” because it reminded me of her, how she almost got me expelled.

8th grade, nearly graduation. “Turn in your graduation speeches.” My teacher says, so I do. She doesn’t. They read them aloud. The girl points to me, tells the teacher she wants to speak to us after class. She says I copied, I plagiarized. It’s a crime punished with expulsion.

I’m privately Catholic. She is not. The teacher is not. They are outspoken about God, uncomfortably outspoken…

“But I would never lie! I’m a good Christian!” that look of hate in an old friend’s eyes, “She’s not!” that accusatory finger. I turned away, crumpled the paper, and was found innocent. I read no speech at graduation, nor did she.

I was so happy when they caught her giving kids ex-lax, pretending it was candy.

Now that’s what I call just desserts.