“It’s okay,” she smiled, trying her hardest to seem reassuring but instead coming across as ever-so-slightly patronising. “I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yes. You’re scared of commitment. It’s okay. It’s fine.”

He laughed. “What? No, I’m not. I just don’t want to get married. Ever.”

“Danny, it’s alright! I understand!”

“Clearly you don’t,” he said. “You’re making the assumption that I can’t commit purely because I don’t believe marriage works. I love you, alright? I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I don’t need a piece of paper to prove it.”

She sat down and thought about this for a moment. Then she said, “I booked a church and everything.”

“Well considering I haven’t proposed to you, nor am I ever likely to, some might say you were jumping the gun a bit.”

“Can we still have a wedding?”

“But we’re not getting married.”

“How about a party?”

“Parties are good.”

“Can we call it a wedding?”

“No.”

“Can I call it a wedding?”

“Yes,” he smiled. “So long as you don’t do it out loud.”