Ficlets

Happy Thoughts: Wave 2

“Sir, with the success of last year’s Constructive Rehabilitation Act, people are calling for more widespread adoption of the positivity collar.”

“The constituents want this?”

“Absolutely. Why, I just got off the phone with Phil Winston at SRI . He was proposing a new budget for microminiaturization and he says they can have the technology reduced to an implantable microchip in six months with the right funding.”

“That’s incredible, Harris. Where do we want to take this?”

“We’ve been flooded with calls from the Brady Campaign. They want mandated positivity control for all gun owners to prevent violent crime.”

“The public will never go for that.”

“Nonsense, there’s a precedent now.”

“Fair enough. If we spin it right, they’ll demand it. Call it the Responsible Firearm Use Initiative. We’ll say it’s essential for domestic security. A vote against it is a vote for random killings.”

“Brilliant, sir.”

“Harris, can you get me some statistics linking homicides and negativity?”

“Sure, I’ll get right on that.”

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