Ficlets

One Less Twit!

“Taunted by toof faeries! Hah! Don’t you know that me mum’s uncle’s second wife is half faerie n’ half orc. Me n’ the toof faeries used to play in the dungeons when we was little uns.”

“I don’t believe you, the tooth faeries drive our prisoners mad when they are kept in the dungeons for more than a few days.”

“Whatever, mate. You got a match?”

“A match? What are you going on about?”

“Well you did say I should be shooting flamin’ arrers, tho’ I think the dragon would like bits of coal more, so I need a match to light the bleedin’ arrers, don’t I”

“Oh, right. I know I had some earlier. Where did I put them? Well, that’s a bit of problem, I can’t seem to find them. Just shoot your regular arrows at the dragon”

“You know that dragon scales are better than plate armour, don’t ya? Ordinary arrows just bounce off.”

“Well try it anyway, you ignorant country lout. Are you … aaaargh!”

“Hey, Fred, how ya doin, mate?”

“Not bad, thanks for distracting the twit for me”

“No problem, see ya next week at Granny’s”

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