I found myself lying flat on my back, but it wasn’t the cold, hard tile of the kitchen floor beneath me. I am lying on a soft, cushiony white surface.

I turn my head to see what’s around me. All I can see is blue, sky blue. I am on a cloud. Oh geez, I must have died. This looks like heaven.

As I try to get up, I realize I cannot move. I can’t feel my body, can only hear the thoughts in my head.

But I hear something else. I can hear a faint whisper in the back of my head. It must be God, trying to decide my fate and cast His judgement. I close my eyes to try and hear it better.

As I opened my eyes I said, “You are not God. Thank God” to my wife standing over me.