The Educated Soft Drink [Make Me Laugh Challenge]

by Browncoatben
originally published at 09:13PM on Tuesday, May 13, 2008

“Where does a can of carbonated syrup go to college?” Zoe asked, matter of factly.

“Huh?” Micah asked, looking up from his laptop to meet her eyes.

“Well, it’s an important title. i’d like to think they’re not just throwing it around, you know.” continued Zoe.

Micah thought about it for a moment. “Maybe it’s honorary or something. Why?”

Zoe glared back, feigning a serious argument. “Why!?” she mocked. “Doctor is a title of distinction and learning. It’s a mark of dedication and service. What’s this little guy ever done besides fizzle?”

“Zoe.” Micah replied levelly, now sliding his laptop to one side. “Dr. Pepper is no mere drink. It’s got medicinal applications. You can use it on zits. It’s the principle ingredient in botox. Hell, it’s the holy water of liquid. Cures cancer in The Yukon, you know.”

“Ah, not like that uneducated swine, Pibb.” Zoe chuckled. “What a bum.”

Micah looked back to his screen. “Yeah…probably mooches his bubbles from Pepper.”

“Damn Mr. Pibb.” Zoe murmered.




  • from thebetweenspace:

    The first line didn’t make me laugh out loud, but it sure got my attention. But the description of Dr. Pepper’s medicinal purposes really got me goin’. And instead of saying, ‘Damn the man’, I like ‘Damn Mr. Pibb’ because damn it! He’s just not as good. Great job!

  • from Trann:

    Sounds like my clique: geek humour at its finest.

  • from invisibility_disability:

    i. love. dr. pepper.
    (and this ficlet.)

  • from Alexa ♥:

    Took me a minute to figure it out, but then it was hilarity.
    Now, when I’ve had some time to reflect, I think we must all consider these important questions. What kind of doctor is the Dr. Pepper? What does s/he specialize in? Is s/he an MD, a shrink, or a doctor like Dr. Phil is? Or did some college give an honary degree in exchange for a commencement address.
    Thank you for bringing these most dire issues to the forefront of my mind.

  • from Fantasy:

    does Dr. Pepper really cure zits? i need to know!!! if it does, i need to start buying some!! LOL !!!


  • from Apostrophe :

    I may never drink Dr.Peper again w/o thinking of this Ficlet.