“Welcome Back. We are reporting live from Sears in the Westfield Mall. We have eye witness Ted Levine here to tell us a little more about the tragic event that occurred here today.”

“Ted. Tell us what you saw.”

“Well, it happened real fast. Umm, well, I guess it started when this purty lady was gettin’ on that escalator to, you know… go up. This real old guy gets on right after, and about half way up he touches her all inappropriate like.”

“What do you mean by inappropriate mister Levine?”

“I mean that… he ah, gropes. You know, her ass.”

“And what happened next?”

“Well, she turned around all shocked lookin’, and then she kneed him in his junk, err… groin. He tumbled down that up escalator reeeaaallll slllloooowwww. He was all bent up, and cran-”

“Excuse me Mr. Levine. We are getting reports that Ms. Amber Dunlocke is being charged with murder & treason for the death of the Vice President. Jim is coming in live from the White House where the President is about to make a statement. Jim?”