Twice as fast [Make Me Laugh Challenge]

by Lee Braiden
originally published at 04:49PM on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 mature

Bob crashed to the ground. His left leg landed first, his knee buckling under the sudden force. His left shoulder slammed down next, swiftly followed by his head. Bob’s tiny mind was crushed as pain flooded into every inch of his body. “FUCK! Fuck-fuckityfuck. JesusChristAlmighty!! Aghh! Shit!!”

“Bastard. Fuck. Bollocks.” Bob gasped for air. “I’m OK.”

He panted some more. “But Sensei, I can’t do this. Really.”

“Bob, don’t quit now. You’ve almost got it. I don’t teach my Superfast Flying Kick in the Hydraulics to just anyone, you know. Get up and try again. And remember: twice as fast as you physically can. I want to see some effort.”

Bob was a pro by now. On his sensei’s command, he immediately gathered his crumpled body back together, and leapt into the air.

Bob didn’t make a sound. Inside, his little soul screamed in agony as his face shattered the concrete post. Deep within Bob’s pain-numbed mind, he suddenly became aware of sliding down stone.

“Bob, your nose! Brake with your nose!”

Bob passed out.




  • from thebetweenspace:

    Poor Bob. I think he’s learned a valuable lesson and he’s entered a world of pain. ;) I like the sensei’s Super Fast Kick in the Hydraulics.

  • from THX 0477:

    That was funny. Couldn’t help but picture Jack Black in a Kung Fu/Matrix sort of spoof.

  • from ♠Ana Cristina♥:

    Brake with your nose?! Hilarious, and LOL at THX ’s comment.

  • from Lee Braiden:

    Thanks guys :)

    @THX: you should check out Beverly Hills Ninja sometime. It’s great :D

  • from Trann:

    Great lines!