Networks Without Tongue

by Will Hindmarch
originally published at 11:42AM on Friday, May 23, 2008

DONNA : I’m having an affair, Danny.

DANNY : Yeah, I know.

DONNA : Right now. An affair.

DANNY : Can’t have one right now. I’m your husband.

DONNA : No. Now. Even while I’m here, I’m really there.

DANNY : Having an affair.

DONNA : Right.

DANNY : Okay.

DONNA : You don’t believe me.

DANNY : I believe you.

DONNA : I’m logged on right now. With him. We’re, yes, I think, we’re making love. Right now.

DANNY : Finish your sandwich.

DONNA : He’s kissing me. He’s kissing me, and I’m kissing him.

DANNY : If you don’t finish it, I’m going to.

DONNA : [ fingers the plug behind her ear ] Can’t eat. I’m using my mouth to kiss another man.

DANNY : I had sex with Saria Smythe. A couple times. [ he takes her sandwich ]

DONNA : No you didn’t.

DANNY : Sure did.

DONNA : Danny, she’s a cartoon.

DANNY : Yep.

DONNA : So it, like, doesn’t count. This is another man, I’m with.

DANNY : I’m right here and I don’t see him. You gonna put your tongue in his mouth?

DONNA : Ew, no.

DANNY : Then who cares. I’m finishing your sandwich.

Prequels

Sequels

Comments

  • from KevMullins:

    “You gonna put your tongue in his mouth?”... “Ew, no.” made me really LOL .
    Fun piece

  • from KevMullins:

    “You gonna put your tongue in his mouth?”... “Ew, no.” made me really LOL .
    Fun piece

  • from Eckhouse:

    Nice to see a little healthy competition keeping the relationship fresh.
    LoA

  • from Seth Miller:

    Perfect. I love relationship dialogs.

  • from THX 0477:

    I liked it from the standpoint of a bit of a lampoon of the modern relationship and the myriad levels and definitions of infidelity that online dalliances create or present. Funny attitude from the guy.

  • from JMSquire:

    Really funny, I love the guys nonchalant responses to her trying to get a rise out of him.

  • from ZorkFox:

    Quite enjoyable! I had a bit of trouble with the names because they’re so similar. Like JMSquire and THX 04777 I liked the tongue line, but I also laughed at, “Danny, she’s a cartoon.”

  • from I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!:

    THIS WAS A FUN ONE I LIKED IT A LOT !