Stupid Human Tricks

by JMBauhaus
originally published at 01:05PM on Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I once knew this girl. She wasn’t like the rest of us. She had a special power, one that made her the envy of every woman who ever knew her.

You know how some women joke about how they just look at a piece of cake and gain two pounds? Well, for Linda it was the other way around, and it was no joke: criticize her weight, and she’d lose an ounce. Just like that.

Big deal, right? What’s an ounce? It’s not like this would get her on the Late Show or anything. You’d be surprised how fast it added up, though. By the time she finished reading a magazine she’d have lost two pounds.

Most women hated her.

But then it got dangerous. She had to stop reading magazines. She had to stop watching TV. She couldn’t go to the mall, or to the movies. She became a shut-in, and even then, she had to get rid of all her mirrors.

Too bad her biggest critic was herself.

I used to know this girl. It’s too bad, what happened to her. But I guess it was inevitable. Just didn’t think it would happen so fast, is all.

Prequels

Sequels

Comments

  • from Krulltar:

    Interestingly bizarre flicet this is, but oddl enough that I like it. This would make a good Twilight Zone premise.