“Does this smell OK to you?” the tiny man shrieked, flipping the box of food at his assistant with a short, sharp motion that barely moved his arm but caused the hot lo mein to arc through the air until it hit her blouse and skirt; it landed on the open tops of her shoes. She yelped in pain and jumped back, already too late, kicking the mess onto the posh carpet of his office.

The tyrant screeched and hopped off his chair like a mad little bird tumbling to ground to defend a nest. He flung the half-empty box of noodles at her. Unthinkingly, she stepped clumsily backwards and the projectiles missed, scattering a bow of noodles, vegetables, and misshapen chunks of shrimp between herself and her assailant.

“Waaagh!” he screamed. A penguin, she thought, that’s what he was, a little like Burgess Meredith on the old TV show and something like the real thing on an Animal Planet show. “You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fired!” he started to shout, flailing his arms around as if he was being attacked by bats.