Anything to rid me of this Local Jerk

by Bartimaeus
originally published at 01:00PM on Tuesday, July 15, 2008

At this point, I had run out of ideas. I began praying desperately.
Dear Lord in heaven, why have you put this… whatever he is beside me… I am trying to focus on you, my Lord… Please, God… anything to make him leave…

The next thing I felt was my lips pressed hard against his, and my tongue dancing over his lips. My eyes flew wide open in horror as I felt myself kissing him ever deeper. I couldn’t pull myself away, and what’s worse was that he was kissing me back!

I felt as though I were fighting something inside of me. Something that just wanted to let go of the initial hatred and malice I felt towards him. Just as I was about to give in, our lips separated, and he nearly fell out of his chair. He just stared at me wildly, not knowing what to say. We were both breathing heavily, and i could feel the bewildered look upon my face.
After an eternity of awkward silence, the man wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and spoke.
“So, I take it you’re not a nun…”




  • from Lone Writer:

    OH MY GOD !
    Where in the name of Joe Jonas did THAT come from???
    I’m shocked if you couldn’t tell. Awesome sequel! I DEMAND another!

  • from AwkwardlyReversed:

    Lol. that was totally unexpected. i thought something was gonna happen to God was gonna smite him..but jeez.

  • from Kermitgorf:

    OMg the nun thing as an ender gets cleverer and cleverer per ficlet. I knew a romance was brewing.

  • from [ wall.doll ]:

    Wow! Definitely did not see that coming. Wonderful twist you have now added.
    I can’t resist sequelling.

  • from THX 0477:

    Bizarre strategy on her part, but a great last line.

  • from g2 (la pianista irlandesa):

    Whoa! Where did that come from?! “So I take it you’re not a nun…” Priceless.