Ficlets

THE U.S.S. EMPRESS

“Welcome aboard the U.S.S. Empress – the finest
minesweeper ever to defend the shores of these United
States! My name is Captain Nepal, but you can call me by
my first name – SIR !!!”

“YES SIR !”

“The enemy’s cost of making and laying a mine is practically nothing! The cost of removing that weapon is not trivial! It can take up to 200 times as long to clear a minefield than to lay it, and it will require your skill to get the job done! Are you ready?!”

“YES SIR !”

“I CAN ’T HEAR YOU !

“YES SIR !”

“I am pleased to be your commanding officer, and I’ve
spoken to my junior officers about this mission. The
Empress holds 38 men, and my motto is that it’s not what
you expect, but what you INSPECT ! I’ll be on your buts
like a fly on stink! Be proud to serve aboard the Empress!
I have now selected a famous minesweep poem for you.”

When faces wrinkle and beards grow grey, Minesweep
sailors will gather and say Forgive us our faults, forgive us
our sins Where the fleet goes, we’ve already been.

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