You Can't Always Count On Death

by RainDance
originally published at 01:38PM on Monday, September 22, 2008

A wide yellow street lamp above me flickered out as I walked down Bramble Boulevard. I ambled down the damp street with no particular purpose in my stride. It was drizzling and the night held the thick chill of autumn. It was the kind of chill that wrapped itself around me and sucked the heat out of my wool jacket. Or, it used to.

As my body had ceased to function in a normal, living way last winter, I no longer produced heat. My skin was always the temperature of the air surrounding me. This became quite convenient when I realized I could wear long sleeves and pants during the summer without any discomfort. Though, I wouldn’t require such a convenience if I had just died when I meant to.

It was in December. After spending Christmas alone, I sunk even further into my depression. It was the lowest I had ever felt. The anti-depressants didn’t help. I picked up a knife and dragged it down the length of my arms. I watched them soak my khaki trousers and after a while, cease to bleed.

I just didn’t die.




  • from Kermitgorf:

    Wow what an ending!.. palpable tension throughout. Descriptive, esp about the weather, and the long sleeve coment was a moment of comic relief in an otherwise dark story.

  • from Mistress Elsha Hawk:

    the dark side of immortality.. I feel like something needs to cheer her up, a purpose perhaps?

  • from RainDance:

    A purpose is exactly what everyone needs at some point.
    It’s interesting that you assumed the character is a woman, because I wrote it thinking that it was a man. When I read your comment I realized that there was nothing that really decidided what gender that character had. It’s sort of cool how that happened. If somebody sequels I’ll be interested to see which gender they choose.

  • from One Time, One Chance:

    wow, i really like this! great emotion here, fantastic detail, also.
    haha it’s funny, i read it as being a woman, too. :)

  • from Freedom:

    Great job on the emotions and such. I love the last line. So chilling. Can’t wait to see if someone sequels.

  • from RainDance:

    No one took the bait so I sequeled it myself.