Late Night Room Service

by H. Liam
originally published at 10:16PM on Wednesday, October 01, 2008 mature

Working the graveyard shift for room service is always either feast or famine. The entire night is spent either folding cloth napkins and eating condiments from the bar or running back and forth to rooms carrying bloody hamburgers and buckets of champagne. Yes, at this 5-star hotel, drunk assholes at 3am order burgers and champagne. I arrived at room 811 and could smell cigar smoke coming from inside the room. I knocked on the door and a woman’s voice called for me to come in. A man, naked except for his undershirt, lay passed out on the bed. A woman, wearing a short black miniskirt and heavy black eyeliner sat on the end of the bed smoking the cigar. I turned my back to the bed in order to set up the table, removing the burger from the hotbox and pulling out the leaves of the table. I turned to face the woman and said, “Enjoy your dinner. Will that be all for now?” She spread her legs wide as she raised her skirt and said, “I don’t know, will it?”

(This is a true story)