We laugh and throw snowballs at each other for awhile. Soon, I collapse on the ground in laughter, having just nailed Chris in the face my accident. He walks over to where I lay on the ground and shakes his head over me like a dog.

“Stop it!â€? I laugh.

“No!â€? He laughs back.

“Ugh.â€? I groan as I shield my face from the melted snow flying off his hair. He laughs at me some more and then stops to help me up.

“Here.â€? He says, offering his hands to me. I take them and he pulls me to my feet and then in his arms. He wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. I can feel the desperation underlying his happiness, knowing we can never really be together.

I sigh and lean into for a moment. I will myself not to cry and to hold back the tears that threatened to spill because of my uncontrollable desire to have him and no one else. I pull away from him and, with my voice and eyes layered with regret, I say, “I should be getting home…â€?