Ficlets

Yoda'lling on.

“Interesting what?”

“Just interesting.”

“No, really. Interesting hat? You like my beard? You’ve never heard of the United States? You think I can’t squash you like an irritant bug?”

“Don’t let the Dark Forces take you, Abe.”

“Dark Forces? You mean the ectoplasmic slime that pose as the true fighters for truth, justice and freedom and call themselves Confederates.”

“No, I mean that puddle of mud you’re about to step into.”

“What…?”

“Hmm.”

“Oh ick, now I’ve got my boots and greatcoat all muddy.”

“Such are the sacrifices one is called upon when answering the pull of the Force, young Abi.”

“Can you talk English?”

“I’m very fluent in Yodaish, does that help?”

“Not really. Look, I’ve got to go get this coat changed, the mud…”

Zzzzt, zzzt, zzzt.

“You just burned the bottom of my coat off with that, that thingy.”

“I live to serve the Force.”

“I’m gonna squish you.”

“Squish away.”
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“Ow.”
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“Why’d you go do that for?”

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