Dating rules

by Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy
originally published at 11:31PM on Thursday, July 26, 2007

“Before getting into a relationship, a man must understand five rules that he don’t know,” she told Brad as they sat down in the park. He knew little about girls, much less dating. The only girl he understood was her, and she was an anomaly.
“Ok Briana, enlighten me,” he smirked.
“One, hold her hand in public. Make her feel special.”
“Makes sense. What else?” he sighed.
“Buy her flowers randomly every so often. They make every day brighter.”
“I can do that.” he nodded while she looked at him attentively.
“Let her watch chic flicks every once in a while and don’t complain about it,” she winked at him and he groaned.
“I suppose I can deal with shitty plots and bad acting.”
“Tell her she’s beautiful, not hot or pretty.” she emphasized.
“Good idea. The last rule is…”
“Pride and Prejudice is the bible. You will never be Mr. Darcy.”
“Mr. Who?” he asked perplexed.
“Mr. Darcy is as close to perfect as a man can be. Learn this book.”
“Why?”
“To understand you’ll never be perfect, and that we all are human.”

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