“Hey, ba’tender! Got anyt’ing good for two meerkats?” Lig yelled, then muttered to Tab, “ugh, dey got Animal Planet on. Meerkat Manor? C’mon, Raphael was nevah dat stupid.”

Tab shrugged. “I guess not.”

Lig looked at him. “You ever gonna lighten up? Sheesh. It’s like livin’ wit my mom.”

“Yer mom was a scrappy rat!” a random weasel yelled. Both Lig and a rat at another table turned to the spokesman.

“Excuse me?” they said in unison, and looked at eachother.

The rat and Lig leaped upon the weasel, drawing more shouts from the drunken rodents in the bar. A few more animals joined in the fight.

Tab shrunk against the bar, staring with wide eyes as his friend threw a paw against the weasel’s face, then the rat turned on Lig, then the weasel got both of them.

Two mugs slammed on the counter, making Tab jump. “Two Serengeti Shakes,” the bored bartender said.

“Right,” Tab said uneasily. He took a last look at the hustle, snatched Lig out by the leg, and dragged him out the door.