Ficlets

Golfing Lessons

“Well, no, not exactly.”

“Well, then! What should my bloody swing look like, then?”

“No need to get uppity about it. Here, I’ll show you. Both hands like this—”

“Like that? Whatever for?”

“Just do it, you twit. Now, align your spine on an axis, and swing back…”

“Swinging.”

“Oh, stop overexaggerating!”

“What? I did what you told me to, and I’m doing it right, right? How complicated can golf be, c’mon now!”

“Golf is an art, not a simple ‘sport’ so lowly as to be referred to as such.”

“I really do hate you.”

“I’m going to ignore what you just said. Now, you strike the ball at the exact center and follow through.”

“Okay. It went…one meter! A record! I’m certainly glad I got you as a teacher.”

“Oh, you fool, you sent more ground up than ball!”

“You’ll be kissing both before the day is out…”

“Oi, I heard that!”

“Heard what?”

“Oh, nevermind. I’m leaving.”

“G’bye now! Tally-ho!” After the teacher left, he scored a perfect hole-in-one and smiled.

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