I ambled along. Minding my own business. Feeling vaguely like I was expecting something. I just wasn’t sure what. All I knew was that…

“Aaaah!”

I tumbled off a cliff.

The drop came out of nowhere, and I just barely managed to grab onto the edge. I dangled. Hanging.

A beautiful, absolutely perfect girl that I’d never seen before in my entire life suddenly appeared before me. She smiled. I was blinded by her ultra-white teeth, flummoxed by her purple eyes, stunning hair.

“Hi, I’m amazingly smart, strong, and pretty, and I’m going to save you from the cliff you randomly fell off of.”

She reached out and plucked me up with one hand. I was sick of cliff-hanging anyway. Dang it. Second time this week. She batted her eyes and spoke.

“My name’s Mary Sue.”

She giggled. My hand itched to smack her. She yapped advice at me, flavored with a bubbliness just too disgusting for someone who’d just escaped death.

I had to choose.

Fall of a cliff. Or death by peppiness.

She giggled. I turned. I jumped.