Very intriguing………………………….

Wow. Great job!

You did a really great job with this!

Excellent job.

This was really good. I would change the punctuation in the last sentence, either by inserting a colon, like…

with the leaden weights of this world that had been holding her back: her pink slip, bank card, deed, and cash.

…or by letting those items, those “weights,” stand alone in a sentence fragment. This will make that last sentence much more powerful. Otherwise great writing.

Very good point Ana. I went with the sentence fragment, and you’re right. It’s more powerful and more in line with how I was thinking it.