“That’s not even the half of it,” Zooey said looking bitter.

“Should I prepare myself for part two of your rant?” Reid said looking a bit uneasy at the sight of Zooey slumped over in her chair chewing at her nails and staring coldly out the window.

“It’s just…” Zooey started, taking a breath, “I don’t know why we’re friends. Sure, we have fun sometimes, but only on his terms. And sure, he helps out tremendously with the rent, but until now I just realized how much I can’t stand him and his phony homosexual act he keeps playing. I know he’s only faking it to upkeep his artistic image. For god sakes he has a Betty Page shrine in his closet that he whacks off to every night.”

“Me too,” Reid said laughing.

“You strike me more as a Rita Hayworth kind of guy,” Zooey said.

“Couldn’t be anymore right about that,” Reid said smiling.

“So,” he continued, “What now? I mean, what do you do about Fritz now that you’ve come to terms with your true feelings?”

“Besides kill him?” Zooey said cheerily.