MY STUPID DOG

by SL Goldman

I once had a dog named Kenny Maytag. He was some kind of a weiner dog I guess.

Now I am not a great fan of dogs, but I loved Kenny Maytag dearly. He was a peculiar dog. He seemed to have no purpose in life. In fact, he did nothing. He did not roll over, fetch of play dead. He could not even bark.

Actually, one thing I liked about Kenny Maytag was that he would get very embarrassed if you laughed at him. I think he’d been embarrassed since the time my wife Spatula and I gave him that awful name.

We rather enjoyed this neruosis of his, however. Therefore we would continually make fun of him, which caused him to get even more embarrassed.

This caused us to laugh gleefully and taunt him even more. When we did this, sometimes he would run aroundin circles and urinate on himself.

Many people requested information as to why we acted in this fashion to this poor demented beast.

Unfortunately, I have no answer to this question.