I love it. It leaves loads open for sequels, hints to a lot more, and tells you huge amounts about the character without explicitly telling you. Your usage of first person narrative was especially appealing. Keep up the good work!

This is actually pretty close to the opening of a novel I was once upon a time working on (this is the heavily abbreviated first chapter). I have most of the rest of the story mapped out in my head, but I thought I’d see where others might take it, just out of curiosity. Hope folks have fun with it. :)

Intriguing work.

S.J.

It’s really good! I love how you say she doesn’t remember anything but her mom never lets her forget that she killed her brother. Nice work!

Simply amazing.

Wow! Great voice and strong character!

Well done. Great opening and grabs the readers interest from the start.

nice! yes great opening and also nice ending.

The only thing that I would want to know is how Jack killed her brother.

Really makes you want to read more…Nice work.