There is a theory which states that for every action we take, the alternative actions and outcomes are played out in a parallel universes. And, because of the general randomness of events, free will and a variety of other variables, there is an infinite number of these alternate realities. Alan thought on this, and hoped that somewhere out there was a version of him who was enjoying this date.

He’d forgotten why he had asked her to dinner at all. All she’d talked about was shoes. “I love shoes,” she’d said, and then she spent the next hour and a half talking about nothing but shoes just in case that sparse three-letter sentence had not quite been enough to put forward her appreciation and fondness for footwear.

He knew, of course, that not all women were shoe mad. There is most likely some kind of Shoe Scale on which people of both genders could be placed in order by their love of the things. Unfortunately Alan had the appallingly bad luck of meeting the woman residing at the far end of the spectrum.