A good story. I really like the imagery.

Not to nitpick, but there’s no “e” in “lightning” and “short-haired” needs a hyphen. :)

I love that photograph, and you’ve evoked the beauty of lightning very lucidly here. Interesting that the picture is titled “Unity,” and you do get a sense of unity in this piece, in the connection between your narrator and the girl/angel.
LoA

I love that photograph, and you’ve evoked the beauty of lightning very lucidly here. Interesting that the picture is titled “Unity,” as you do get a sense of unity in this piece, in the connection between your narrator and the girl/angel.
LoA

Oops, didn’t mean to post twice. Don’t know how that happened.

thanks for the constructive criticism everyone. I appreciate it and now I can make my ficlets that much better!

Glad to see my photo inspired further creativity. The pic was born out of a complete fluke and its interesting to see what line of thought it has taken someone else down. :)