Not bad. I have one suggestion, though. You use the same root word (comply) twice in close succession: “The manager complied…” and again with ”…saw he was in compliance…” soon after. I think it would read more smoothly if you change one. For instance, change the first one to “The manager cooperated with…” or maybe change the last one to ”…saw he had obeyed…” Whenever I have trouble coming up with a similar word to one I’ve already used recently, I go to thesaurus.com. That site is a lifesaver!

easier said than done… the footage deleting. They should swipe a few costumes as they go, maybe chewbacca?? LOL

a little bit of correction. and it shines like a new penny.. :)

I love how you and inbetween have continued my originial ficlet and sorta made it your own.. no I am happy to see the story go in the direction is has.. i am honored you guys liked my concept so much that it has continued for so long.

The question I still have (it’s been in my mind since Jared decided he might as well rob the costume store) is just how much money would a costume shop have in the safe? And, Kermit, I look forward to you jumping back in again soon! :)