Wow…The imagery and language is so tangible here.

I love the sense of loathing and pessimism coming out of our narrator. Great emotion in this piece.

Excellent 1st person POV – something you always seem to have a knack for… A well painted image with great visuals to compliment as well…

Magnificent story, very well told and I think if it had been in chronological order, it would not have the same effect. You knocked this challenge out of the ballpark, my friend.
LoA

Awesomeness. Great, well told story.

Wow. You need help. Or a publisher.

Thanks for the comments. And to answer Trann’s comment, yes, I’m currently for both professional help and a publisher (or at least a literary agent).