Ficlets

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Became An Evil Overlord, Part 19

93. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each other’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
94. Any data files of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb.
95. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free, unlimited internet access.
96. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all of those pesky time travel devices.
97. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys that happens to follow him around.

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