“Grace! Grace!” I hear Spencer calling my name. I snap back and look into his eyes. Tears are flowing down my face.

He takes a sigh of relief, “You scared the crap out of my Grace. It was like your whole body just shut down. I even kissed your cheek and you didn’t flinch.”

I sigh because that is what always happens when I get into that flashback. It is a video in my head that just won’t leave. Everything else becomes invisible. I wish I could take back what happened or at least forget about it. I can’t do either one.

“All my fault…” I whisper so lightly I thought he wouldn’t hear, but he did. His eyes become sympathetic, like he really wants me to not think that way.

Spencer whips away my tears. I know that he probably said it is not your fault but I wasn’t listening. It is all my fault. I am to blame and that is why I deserve to suffer.