A man walks into a white room – we’re not sure if he’s walking on Styrofoam or it’s the exceptionally bright spotlights – but he gives a dazzling smile, and speaks in that oh so perfect announcer voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for.”

He holds up a TV remote control.

“This, no doubt looks like an ordinary looking, black TV remote control to you, but in fact, it isn’t.”

He shoots us another ear-to-ear grin.

“Ever wanted to stop that annoying dog barking just outside your window? Ever wanted to skip mom’s lectures? Ever wanted to pause your mother-in-law?”

Magically, a barking dog appears out of nowhere from the Styrofoamyness, and the man presses a pause button. The dog freezes in position.

“This is no hoax, ladies and gentlemen! Call now, and you’ll get your very own Uni-Mote and a set of batteries to get you going!”

Includes rewind, fastforward and stop. Uni-Mote Inc. will take no responsibility for accidental death and/or permanent time freeze.