A friend of a friend once told me that if you have a back up plan for your life, you won’t ever get the one you really want to have.

I have a back-up plan.

This back-up plan is for my own protection, really. It shields me from disappointment; because, let’s be honest. If you don’t give it everything you have, if you save something for the journey back home, you can’t get hurt. At least, not as badly.

I think one of my biggest fears is going after something with everything I have and failing at it. Just losing, and not having an excuse. You can’t say you didn’t try hard enough when it’s everything to you. Sorry, not a winner. Roll the dice again. It doesn’t work that way.

So I keep this back up plan, this “in case of emergency” life saved in the back of my head, just in case I ever need it. This is my way of ignoring failure. This is my sanity. This is my just-in-case.