Some of your sentences are run-on and a little hard to follow. Was the gun magic to slowly withdrew itself, and was the lake sneaking up on you? Read this ficlet out loud to yourself, then edit it.

i like it

I like how he subconsciously blames the gun- like he isn’t really responsible for shooting her, it just happened. “my wife will be expecting me for dinner” underlines how disattached he is from the situation emotionally. also, flows well.

I’ll agree with the run on sentences. As for the rest of your bizarre critique and its questionable choice of tense (withdraw, anyone?), you could stand to be a little kinder when giving constructive criticism on a pleasant peer-centric cite.