Apparently the stock market crashed today. It really crashed – it didn’t just drop in value, but I didn’t really think much of it since I don’t own any stocks.

And then the news reported that the banks had all locked their doors and wouldn’t let anyone get to their money and the riots started, but I don’t really have much in the bank, either. So that didn’t bother me too much.

But then the looting started. Everywhere all at once – not just in some faraway city that didn’t touch me. News crews were filming idiots as they set fire to cars, robbed every business not already locked down, and kicked the crap out of each other for no reason whatsoever. Suddenly things had become much more real to me and I began to worry.

I called my buddy Dan to see if he was watching the news.

“Yeah, I’m watching. And those cocksuckers are getting closer. They just hit the 7-11 that’s about two blocks away.”

“No shit? You better get out of there.”