uuh this is an ok start but i’m not grabbed by it

I agree. I’m curious to see where the story goes (that’s one of the things l like about beginnings, it can go anywhere), but I wasn’t drawn in. I bet as the story goes on, it get’s much better, though. Good job.

i agree with both comments above – not drawn in, but it can go anywhere. which really leaves me nothing to say.
but i wuld like to add, tht the possibilities where this ficlet could go are inimagineable.
henceforth, that is the reason i shall sequel =]