“Here comes Queen Matilda and the black knight!”

“It is I, Queen Matilda, daughter of Penelope the elder butter-faced maiden of Camelot whose father was the barbiturate addict Sonny Bono once married to Queen Cher twice married to a hamster not far from Detroit, Michigan!”

“No, get out! How dare you dis Detroit like that!”

“I am Matilda, ruler of Camelot! Bow before your Queen!”

“She certainly does have an attitude, guv nah’. Would’ve expected a tad more from a Queen right?

“You ale bloated imbecile! Bow before your ruler!”

“Wuddya call me?”

“You stupid, fat-headed, bow-legged, ale-bloated, lousy excuse for a squire, cheesy moustache, even cheesier beard wearin’, worthless, dickless, village idiot lookin’, Sonny Bono lovin’, crazy, bumbling, foolish, jackass smo, brutish, scampish, dumb little simpleton!”

“Finished?”

“Yes!”

“I’m gonna cry now. You dun hurt me feelings”

“So?”

“Well, I’m just a squire. I’m learning you know and I’m in therapy… Sir THX 0477 is addressing me issues.”